Soap Opera Five: A conglomeration of babies

Question to discuss:

My five year old nephew asked me where do babies come from. What do I tell him?

1) 

Stranger 2: POOF\

Stranger 1: an ostrich delivers them

Stranger 2: lol

Stranger 1: i meant a stork... wrong bird :-P

Stranger 2: no ostrich would be better

Stranger 1: lol okay!

Stranger 2 has disconnected

2)

Stranger 2: unicorn poop

Stranger 1: tell them that you stick a flash drive into her moms emergency induction port

Stranger 2: lol

Stranger 1: it then takes 9 months for you to be installed into your parental unit

Stranger 2: lol i like that one

Stranger 1 has disconnected

3)

Stranger 2: the stock shit

Stranger 2: stork*

Stranger 1: The stork story

Stranger 2: yep, then when they're 13, BAM, real story!

Stranger 1: Mhmm

Stranger 2: it'll blow they're fucking mind

Stranger 1 has disconnected

4)

Stranger 1: Tell him straight up lol

Stranger 2: they come from my asshole

Stranger 1: They come out my pussy

Stranger 2: babies rise from ashes like a pheonix

Stranger 2: yeah

Stranger 1 has disconnected

5) Stranger 1: tell him the truth

Stranger 1: but scientifically so he wont understand

Stranger 2: just give him the bare basics for now

Stranger 2: exactly

Stranger 2: just say you know when a mom and dad like each other very much

Stranger 2: yadayadayada

Stranger 1: yea

Stranger 2: just remember, hes five, and he wont get the whole process

Stranger 2: so theres no need to give him any details he doesn't need to know

Stranger 2: just tell him about the natural proceses of life

Stranger 1: tell him the scientific way he wont get it

Stranger 2: try something like:
"when a mom and dad like each other very much, they have something called intercourse, and through that, you were born"

Stranger 1: yea

Stranger 2: leave it at that

Stranger 2: and youll be fine

Stranger 1: but then they ask questions

Stranger 2: yea

Stranger 2: be ready for that

Stranger 1: like whats intercourse

Stranger 2: its the process in which a male and a female join together to make a baby

Stranger 1: yea that will shut him up

Stranger 2: lol youll be fine ,man, just act natural and don't worry about it

Stranger 2: well im out, good luck!

Stranger 1 has disconnected

Question to discuss:

My five year old cousin asked me where do babies come from. What do I tell him?

1)

Stranger 2: They come randomly. They're just born when a woman randomly becomes pregnant.

Stranger 1: Babies come from alcohol. That's the fun answer.

Stranger 2: haha

Stranger 2: ok

Stranger 2: :)

2)

Is getting its own post