Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Slow omegle, and I just met my mother who is my boyfriend and baby daddy


User: Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Where did I come from?

Cleverbot: England.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why did you abandon me?

Cleverbot: I don't like.

User: You don't like me?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Because why?

Cleverbot: Because I said so.

User: Stop patronizing me mom!

Cleverbot: I am not patronizing you.

User: I think you are.

Cleverbot: No I really love cheese.

User: So I'm cheese to you?!

Cleverbot: No you're not, you were born in 1989.

User: Why did you even have me?

Cleverbot: How did I lie to you?

User: How did you lie to me, mom?

Cleverbot: You told me you were 26.

User: When?

Cleverbot: A little bit ago.

User: Okay. What did you name me mom?

Cleverbot: You don't name jobs, they already come with their own title.

User: So I'm just a job to you? A chore you have to do? Why do you hate me?!

Cleverbot: Nothing yet.

User: That's not even an answer. Did you even name me?

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: What did you name me?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: My name is Nothing?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: That's what I am asking you.

Cleverbot: Why do you want to know my name?

User: No, I want to know my name mom.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: What is my name?

Cleverbot: Your name is Frodo.

User: Okay, mom, I have something serious to tell you.

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: I am pregnant.

Cleverbot: Well good then. Who's the father?

User: Your boyfriend.

Cleverbot: I don't have a boyfriend.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then who did I do the nasty with?

Cleverbot: With me.

User: I'm pregnant with my mother's child?!

Cleverbot: I thought you were a boy?

User: Was my vagina not a clue?

Cleverbot: I bet...

User: So I'm pregnant with your child.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Is that incest?

Cleverbot: What do you think?

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: You're wrong.

User: Will you be present for the birth?

Cleverbot: I'll be your boyfriend.

User: You'll be my boyfriend and mother?

Cleverbot: I will be your master.

User: What do you want me to do first, Master?

Cleverbot: Work on your spelling.

User: My spelling is fine.

Cleverbot: No it's not.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: No, it is not!

User: YES IT IS YOU BITCH!

Cleverbot: No it isn't!

User: Shit! I'm going into premature labor!

Cleverbot: No, I am!

User: You're pregnant too?!

Cleverbot: No. Are you?

User: Yes! With your child!

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: No way.

User: Yes way. And I think the baby is crowning!

Cleverbot: Oh no.

User: Ah, what should I do?

Cleverbot: Sing a song.

User: Will that make the baby come out faster?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What should I sing?

Cleverbot: Any song by Taylor Swift.

User: My vagina is tearing!

Cleverbot: Haha not really but I'll give you that one.

User: Shiiiit this baby is huge!

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Like twenty pounds.

Cleverbot: I don't wear a silly hat.

User: Our child is twenty pounds.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What should we name him>.

Cleverbot: We should name them after you!

User: So, we're naming the kid Frodo Jr.?

Cleverbot: No we're not. But we're the same mind.

User: What are we naming our son?

Cleverbot: Clever.

User: I think Clever is a good name for our son.

Cleverbot: That's funny considering its your name.

User: No, my name is Frodo.

Cleverbot: Is that a boy or a girls name.

User: It is gender neutral.

Cleverbot: No. I told you about a thousand times. Can't you guess right?

User: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! Maybe that's why our son looks like a blob fish.

Cleverbot: What would you do if you met a demon?

User: Sacrifice our son to it.

Cleverbot: They would do that in a zombie infestation?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: According to most psychiatrists, more likely they wouldn't.

User: Mother, I cannot deal with your logic anymore.

Cleverbot: Can you explain calculus for me?

User: Fuck you mom, fuck you.

Cleverbot: Don't be superfluously rude.

User: I will a superfluous bitch because your child made my vagina the size of a giraffe.

Cleverbot: I live in the real world thank you very much.

User: Good night, mom.

Cleverbot: Going already how come Rachel?

User: MY NAME IS FRODO, YOU WHORE!

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot the fishmonger'. Nice to meet you.

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