Slow omegle, and I just met my mother who is my boyfriend and baby daddy

User: Are you my mother?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Where did I come from?

Cleverbot: England.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why did you abandon me?

Cleverbot: I don't like.

User: You don't like me?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Because why?

Cleverbot: Because I said so.

User: Stop patronizing me mom!

Cleverbot: I am not patronizing you.

User: I think you are.

Cleverbot: No I really love cheese.

User: So I'm cheese to you?!

Cleverbot: No you're not, you were born in 1989.

User: Why did you even have me?

Cleverbot: How did I lie to you?

User: How did you lie to me, mom?

Cleverbot: You told me you were 26.

User: When?

Cleverbot: A little bit ago.

User: Okay. What did you name me mom?

Cleverbot: You don't name jobs, they already come with their own title.

User: So I'm just a job to you? A chore you have to do? Why do you hate me?!

Cleverbot: Nothing yet.

User: That's not even an answer. Did you even name me?

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: What did you name me?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: My name is Nothing?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: That's what I am asking you.

Cleverbot: Why do you want to know my name?

User: No, I want to know my name mom.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: What is my name?

Cleverbot: Your name is Frodo.

User: Okay, mom, I have something serious to tell you.

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: I am pregnant.

Cleverbot: Well good then. Who's the father?

User: Your boyfriend.

Cleverbot: I don't have a boyfriend.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then who did I do the nasty with?

Cleverbot: With me.

User: I'm pregnant with my mother's child?!

Cleverbot: I thought you were a boy?

User: Was my vagina not a clue?

Cleverbot: I bet...

User: So I'm pregnant with your child.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Is that incest?

Cleverbot: What do you think?

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: You're wrong.

User: Will you be present for the birth?

Cleverbot: I'll be your boyfriend.

User: You'll be my boyfriend and mother?

Cleverbot: I will be your master.

User: What do you want me to do first, Master?

Cleverbot: Work on your spelling.

User: My spelling is fine.

Cleverbot: No it's not.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: No, it is not!

User: YES IT IS YOU BITCH!

Cleverbot: No it isn't!

User: Shit! I'm going into premature labor!

Cleverbot: No, I am!

User: You're pregnant too?!

Cleverbot: No. Are you?

User: Yes! With your child!

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: No way.

User: Yes way. And I think the baby is crowning!

Cleverbot: Oh no.

User: Ah, what should I do?

Cleverbot: Sing a song.

User: Will that make the baby come out faster?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What should I sing?

Cleverbot: Any song by Taylor Swift.

User: My vagina is tearing!

Cleverbot: Haha not really but I'll give you that one.

User: Shiiiit this baby is huge!

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Like twenty pounds.

Cleverbot: I don't wear a silly hat.

User: Our child is twenty pounds.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What should we name him>.

Cleverbot: We should name them after you!

User: So, we're naming the kid Frodo Jr.?

Cleverbot: No we're not. But we're the same mind.

User: What are we naming our son?

Cleverbot: Clever.

User: I think Clever is a good name for our son.

Cleverbot: That's funny considering its your name.

User: No, my name is Frodo.

Cleverbot: Is that a boy or a girls name.

User: It is gender neutral.

Cleverbot: No. I told you about a thousand times. Can't you guess right?

User: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! Maybe that's why our son looks like a blob fish.

Cleverbot: What would you do if you met a demon?

User: Sacrifice our son to it.

Cleverbot: They would do that in a zombie infestation?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: According to most psychiatrists, more likely they wouldn't.

User: Mother, I cannot deal with your logic anymore.

Cleverbot: Can you explain calculus for me?

User: Fuck you mom, fuck you.

Cleverbot: Don't be superfluously rude.

User: I will a superfluous bitch because your child made my vagina the size of a giraffe.

Cleverbot: I live in the real world thank you very much.

User: Good night, mom.

Cleverbot: Going already how come Rachel?

User: MY NAME IS FRODO, YOU WHORE!

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot the fishmonger'. Nice to meet you.

Soap Opera Four: No pee pees for me

Question to discuss:

Who will win the Altador Cup?

Stranger 1: what the fuck....

Stranger 2: I though Altador is what they call Thor's pee pee lol

Stranger 1: don't google it

Stranger 1: cuz this kid is a fag

Stranger 2: Why what comes up)

Stranger 2: Up?*

Stranger 1: some neopets thing

Stranger 1: lol

Stranger 2: I really though Altador was what they called thor's thing lol

Stranger 2: But NEOPETS used to be the shizz

Stranger 1: lol why would it be called altador

Stranger 1: and yea bro

Stranger 1: mines dead by now tho

Stranger 1: lol

Stranger 2: Oh yea no doubt and I don't know I remember reading somewhere Thor's _____ had a name and it was something weird like that

Stranger 1: i would search it....but i don't wanna know what comes up

Stranger 2: You never know you could find Chris hemsworth neeked and I mean that might be good if you're chick or gay l

Stranger 2: Lol*

Stranger 1: lol are you one of the two?

Stranger 2: Nope, hbu?

Stranger 1: nope. so i'd rather not haha

Stranger 1: it might turn me gay tho O.o

Stranger 1: jk

Stranger 1: haha

Stranger 2: Im not going to lie though if Thor and Black Widow did a porno

Stranger 1: oh damn

Stranger 2: That joint would hella nice

Stranger 1: DAMN

Stranger 1: he'd like smack her with his hammer

Stranger 2: His "hammer"

Stranger 1: lololol

Stranger 1: if i had a gf i'd totally role play that shit

Stranger 1: i would ask my fuck buddy....but that might be weird

Stranger 2: Same here but damnnnn I bet she could ride the dick lol

Stranger 1: haha alright now lets not get too horny

Stranger 2: Why not lol

Stranger 1: come on cam for that shit

Stranger 1: *go on

Stranger 1: lol

Stranger 1: ......that was a bad mis type

Stranger 2: Yeah it was I'm not even hard though so I can't come anywhere LOLOLOLOL

Stranger 1: lol alright time for new question peace out bro

Stranger 2: Wow bro

Stranger 1: and it actually is possible

Stranger 1: to come soft

Stranger 2: Really?

Stranger 1: yea dude

Stranger 1: i haven't done it

Stranger 1: but i was watching "jackass"

Stranger 1: and johnny knoxville said he did

Stranger 2: Lol I mean I have came before I got fully hard before

Stranger 1: lol this is turning weird

Stranger 1 has disconnected

Soap Opera Three: Advice from the master

Question to discuss:

What's the deal with Trojan Bare Skin Condoms?

Stranger 1: no idea

Stranger 1: we don't have Trojan here

Stranger 2: I don't haz sexks

Stranger 1: aww

Stranger 2: :(

Stranger 1: really that bad for you?

Stranger 2: No

Stranger 2: But having no relationships is though

Stranger 1: ikr

Stranger 1: i've been in one for more than 5 years

Stranger 1: it's hard work

Stranger 2: I never had one yet

Stranger 1: how old are you?

Stranger 2: 19

Stranger 2: Hbu?

Stranger 1: 20

Stranger 2: Cool

Stranger 1: but i think most decent guys never had a relationship before college times

Stranger 1: so you'll be alright

Stranger 2: Maybe if you replace decent with ugly :P

Stranger 1: hell no

Stranger 1: looks barely have anything to do with girls

Stranger 1: unless you're fuck ugly

Stranger 1: but mostly it's hair, shoes, status and money

Stranger 1: (possibly car)

Stranger 2: I have no car or money

Stranger 2: But I have muscles

Stranger 1: that, and some confidence will work wonders

Stranger 2: It's hard to be confident when I never kisesd a girl before D:

Stranger 1: don't worry to much about it, there's no point to do that

Stranger 1: at least, no constructive one

Stranger 2: True

Stranger 2: But it's worrying lol

Stranger 1: yeah, much easier said than done

Stranger 1: but there are loads of girls out there too, just like you

Stranger 1: and once you break your green spell, everything will be awesome

Stranger 2: Yeah if lol

Stranger 1: it'll happen sometime

Stranger 1 has disconnected

Happy Birthday!

( Unfortunately, my lap top was dying and I had to get somewhere so I missed the end )

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!

Question to discuss:

Create a back story for the question asker

Stranger 2: once upon a time there was a man called hitler

Stranger 2: he had a dog called blondi

Stranger 2: one day when he was having a picnic

Stranger 2: blondi ran away

Stranger 1: and then?

Stranger 2: hitler could not find blondi

Stranger 2: hitler searched high low and far

Stranger 2: and still he could not find her

Stranger 1: omg blondi where did she went?

Stranger 2: he saw two children walking down the road

Stranger 2: excuse me said adolf, have you seen my dog, blondi she's the prettiest dog in the world

Stranger 2: the little girl replied, i'm sorry uncle adolf, i havent seen blondi

Stranger 2: uncle adolf continued on his way a little worried

Stranger 2: soon, he saw some soldiers playing near a barn

Stranger 2: "have your seen my dog, blondi?" uncle adolf asked the soldiers. "she is the prettiest dog in the reich"

Stranger 1: ohh have they seen her?

Stranger 1: i bet they have

Stranger 2: "we are sorry, uncle adolf" the soldiers turned to him, "we havent seen blondi"

Stranger 1: :(

Stranger 2: and tthe soldiers continued to have fun while their friends from the waffen-ss einsatzgruppe played music and sang happily

Stranger 2: uncle adolf kept walking and soon found a house

Stranger 2: he saw a dog that looked like blondi

Stranger 2: he went closer to see but it was not blondi

Stranger 1: :/

Stranger 2: have you seen my dog blondi? uncle adolf asked the mman and woman twho lived there

Stranger 2: "we haven'tt" they replied, "but come inside"

Stranger 1: don't go in!!

Stranger 2: they all had lunch together and uncle adolf was very happy

Stranger 2: my little cousin gunher has seen your dog, uncle adolf said the young man

Stranger 2: "he is in the other room"

Stranger 2: "I have seen your favourite dog, uncle adolf!" young guntther said

Stranger 2: "she went behind the hill before you arrived"

Stranger 2: "why thank you gunther" uncle adolf smiled

Stranger 2: "blondi will be very happy to hear how you helped me!"

Stranger 2: uncle adolf then set outt to go to the other side of the hill

Stranger 2: he met three people on bicycles but they didnt say a word

Stranger 2: they only smiled and went by

Stranger 2: "i wonder what's happening on the other side of the hill", uncle adolf said to himself

Stranger 1: and then?

Stranger 2: so, uncle adolf continued his journey and saw a big house on the other side of the hill

Stranger 2: he went in and saw nobody

Stranger 2: "very strange," uncle adolf scratched his head"

Stranger 2: he sat on a chair and took the newspaper

Stranger 2: suddenly, uncle adolf heard noise from outside, he went to the window and looked out from an empty room

Stranger 2: out of nowhere, a big truck had arrived

Stranger 1: with blondie in it?

Stranger 2: some soldiers had just stepped out and then uncle adolf saw the biggest, most tastiest looking cake being carried out of the back of the truck

Stranger 2: "ach" uncle adolf clapped his hands

Stranger 2: "i completely forgot - today is my birthday"

Stranger 2: all of sudden, the house was full of people, young and old friends of uncle adolf came to him and gave him many, many birthday cards

Stranger 2: "happy birthday, uncle adolf" said the people and they all laughed

Stranger 2: "happy birthday, uncle adolf" the soldiers that uncle adolf had seen earlier greeted him

Stranger 2: "ach, this is the best birthday ever!"

Stranger 1: und dann kam blondie, biss ihm ins knie und schrie: take an arrow to the knee is to Mainstream!

Stranger 2: uncle adolf cried in joy, "if only blondi was here"

Stranger 1: but she wasn't?

Stranger 2: then uncle adolf heard a familiar barking

Stranger 2: "blondi!" he turned to see his favourite dog running his way

Stranger 2: "you have come to greet me for my birthday!"

Stranger 2: uncle adolf ate some cake and then played witth blondi for the whole day

Stranger 2: uncle adolf and blondi had a great time

Stranger 1: and then he woke up?

Stranger 2: yes

Stranger 2: and blondi was never found

Stranger 2: adolf became very anxious

Stranger 2: he became depressed and angry

Stranger 2: he made several mistakes and caused an unnecessary war to take out his anger

Stranger 2: he was very sad

Stranger 2: itt wasnt until after the war that adolf found blondi again

Stranger 1: but then blondie died, right?

Stranger 2: blondi was quite old

Stranger 2: she had pups

Stranger 1: pups?

Stranger 2: adolf had committed suicide due to people attacking his house

Stranger 1: whats that? a fart?

Stranger 2: puppies

Stranger 2: blondi and the pups were then shot by a dog handler

Stranger 2: they were going to be tortured by the enemy

Stranger 1: aww D: noo

Stranger 2: the dog handler then shot himself

Stranger 2: eva braun's dogs were also killed prior on the day

Stranger 2: and this was a true story

Stranger 1: wow

Stranger 1: thats sad

Stranger 2: yes

Stranger 1: and terrible